Whentheconversationcomestolove,italwaysraisethebiggestemotion,reactionandpassion.But,Whatislove?Loveisthatfeelingyougetwhenyoumeettherightperson.Thisishowmanypeopleapproacharelationship.Consciouslyorunconsciously,theybelieveloveisasensation(basedonphysicalandemotionalattraction)thatmagically,spontaneouslygenerateswhenMr.orMs.Rightappears.Andjustaseasily,itcanspontaneouslydegeneratewhenthemagicjustisn'tthereanymore.Youfallinlove,andyoucanfalloutofit.Thekeywordispassivity.ErichFromm,inhisfamoustreatiseTheArtofLoving,notedthesadconsequenceofthismisconception:Thereishardlyanyactivity,anyenterprise,whichisstartedwithsuchtremendoushopesandexpectations,andyet,whichfailssoregularly,aslove.(Thatwasbackin1956--chancesarehe'dbeevenmorepessimistictoday.)Sowhatisreal,lastinglove?Loveistheattachmentthatresultsfromdeeplyappreciatinganother'sgoodness.LOVEISACHOICEIflovecomesfromappreciatinggoodness,itneedn'tjusthappen--youcanmakeithappen.Loveisactive.Youcancreateit.Justfocusonthegoodinanotherperson(andeveryonehassome).Ifyoucandothiseasily,you'llloveeasily.

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